if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize