That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
