eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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