I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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