what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
