im having a threesome with these popsicles
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
