I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
