just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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