Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
