How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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