One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
