Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
