You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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