when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
