Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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