i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
