at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We are two peas in an std pod
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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