Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
