Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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