One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
