My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
