Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
