Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
