But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
