underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
