Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Randomize
