called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
