I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
