when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
