I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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