We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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