She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
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