how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
