i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
