i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
you never un-have a 4some
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
