Sponge bath it is.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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