To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
