Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
