I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
