i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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