did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
