I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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