This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
