She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
