Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize