Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize