how hairy? two words: wookie tits
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
