Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Did I show you my penis last night?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
