where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
