Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
