My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
