Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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