can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
