did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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