My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She bit a glass in half.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
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