he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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