I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
