if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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