Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
